I am a very submissive gal, always have been. Recently, however I received a toy that puts me in control. I have to step up and play a dominant role. All Though the thought is super sexy to me, I had no idea where to start. So I reached out, and eventually tried to pull out my inner Domme.
See, it all started when I got a text from Sir that said “stop being a bitch, take control and take what you want”. It's crazy how wet this boy can make me with just a text message. So I then started fantasizing about the night ahead. I'd get dressed up in my sexiest lingerie, put on my reddest matte red lipstick, and dominate him. I had to ask for advice from someone I knew would know what to say, Cara Sutra. She was wonderful, helpful, and gave me real information that made a difference in my night. She first asked if I wanted to take on a more dominant role. Which I so, so, did! And then she said to start “relaxed and easy. Try not to feel pressure - whether from your partner, or from ideas of what you 'should' be like or how you 'should' be doing it. After all, if you're really in control of the situation then the whole point is to do it your way”.
I decided to take the relaxed and easy start to heart and started my night with a shower. Where I washed Sir from head to toe, to make sure he was nice and clean and made him do the same to me.
I was certainly not very vocal, with my directions from there on out. I just kinda man handled my way through the rest of the evening. Moving him this way, and that until he was just where I wanted him. Taking my pleasure and giving him his.
I need to gain some confidence being in a dominant role. My fantasy's about the evening included me bending Sir the bed and giving him a nice firm spanking that I knew he would enjoy and had earned after swatting me with a towel after our shower. I wanted so badly to say “now bend over and take your spanking like a good boy.” but when that time came it was like there were no words. No words would come out, for fear he would laugh at me.
So as I try to reach down deep and pull out my inner Domme, there is one thing that I know I'm missing. Confidence, that is the key, right? My coaches in every sport I ever played have always said that practice makes perfect. So that is what I will do. I will practice, practice having confidence in my bedroom. Practice taking control, and stepping into a dominant role. I will find my inner Domme, with patience and plenty of practice!