Monday, February 13, 2017

Review: I'm hot about the hot seat (not in a good way)

Lovehoney sent me the inflate hot seat from Pipedreams "King Cock" line. To be honest, I had low expectations, but high hopes for this product. I had hope that the hot seat wouldn't be low quality. Anyhow, let's move along.

Stats:
   The hot seat has a diameter of 16 inches and can hold up to 300lbs. It is made of PVC. In the center of the seat there is a hard plastic shaft, with a cord coming out of the bottom, for the (battery powered) remote, to make the shaft vibrate.
   The Hot Seat I received from Lovehoney came with two dildos, a 6 inch and an 8 inch. The dildos are identical other than size. These dildos are made of PVC, they are very thin and flexible.
Experience:
   So, when I got this package, it was discreet. I opened it up and smelled the dildos, because when I popped open the box I got a huge smell of rubber! These dildos are made of PVC, which is not sterilizable. I washed them with my toy cleaner and scrubbed them, the smell did not fade a bit.
   Also included is a one ounce bottle of lube and a one ounce bottle of toy cleaner. When I found them, I immediately checked the label. Shockingly (or maybe not so), there were Parabens in both.
   After reading the box, I went online to find more information about the dildos. I found that with the King Cock products summary it says that "The King Cock Dildos are the best selling American-made dildos in the world." I certainly hope this is an exaggerated statement made by Pipedreams, because if this is true there are so many unfortunate unknowing people buying terrible quality, body toxic, and expensive crap!
   Anyway, I sucked it up and mounted the hot seat using the TOXIC 8inch Pipedreams King Cock. DO NOT DO IT!!!!! After using this shit dildo my vaginal opening burned. That, my dear readers, is why you should never use PVC junk! For two days, I wanted nothing near my pussy.
   Again these dildos cannot be sterilized, and that is enough for me to NEVER use this again, but it's also a pain in the ass to ever get it close to clean. Under the crown is a crevice gets gunk in it, and on the tip is what appears to be (from the mold) a PVC plug. So Pipedreams, if your going to make cheap, low quality, body toxic shit and sell it to unknowing people to burn their bits with, at the very fucking least, make the damn thing look good, or even better STOP SELLING body toxic shit.

Let me tell you how I really feel:
   I sat on this smelly junk dildo, on a rather sturdy inflatable, bouncy hockey puck for all of ten minutes. In that time, I burned my vag, because of the chemicals used to make these terrible quality dildos. The packaging was nice, and discreet. It was hiding; the included lube and toy cleaner (which both contain Parabens and should not be used), the smelly toxic dildos, and the only thing in the package that is decent quality is the actual seat (which isn't great). The vibration that the seat has are buzzy and loud, and they are powered by batteries.
   Honestly, I wish Lovehoney didn't sell this piece of junk. It doesn't look good, but they still offer great quality products, from trusted brands. I wish they would stop selling dangerous body toxic shitty dildos like the King Cock line. So, head over there and buy something that's worth it!

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